Accepted

Look at that photo taken on Penang Hill, and the other one taken at the Botanic Gardens...look at the way he carried me and hugged me.

I remember how Dad used to walk me home from school each day. He would meet me at the school gate and, hand in hand, we would walk back to Wing On Hotel. How I enjoyed those times. Each afternoon, we would recite nursery rhymes as we walked down that hill from St Monica's. "Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall..." , "Little Miss Muffet..." , "Mary, Mary quite contrary...", "Pussy cat, pussy cat, where have you been?", "Little Jack Horner sat in a corner", "Higgledy, Piggledy, My black hen. She laid eggs for gentlemen. Sometimes nine and sometimes ten, Higgledy, Piggledy, my fat hen."


And all those songs which he taught me:
"It's a long long way to Tip..."
"Way down upon the Swanee River, far, far away..."
"Pack up your troubles in the old..."
""Que Sarah Sarah...what will be, will be..."
"cun tian li na bai hua xiang, lang li ge lang li ge lang li ge lang..."
"aiyoh mama, ni ke bu yao dui wo sheng qi. aiyoh mama..."
"burong kakak tua...nenek sudah tua, gigi nia...."

He enjoyed being with me. I could tell. He liked being with me. As much as I liked being with him. He had, by then, learned to accept me. Not only that...I knew, beyond the shadow of a doubt, he loved me!

It felt good, really good, to be loved and accepted. Unconditionally loved and accepted. Cleft lip and all!

Till today, my Dad has been showering me with unconditional love and acceptance.

Mum told me how fortunate I was to have had a highly sought-after cleft lip specialist to operate on me when I was a year old. Yes, indeed. He was here on an exchange programme. He visited KK Hospital and was accompanying the doctor on his usual morning rounds when he found out about me. He volunteered to operate on me, he was confident he could easily fix my cleft palate and cleft lips. And he did a marvelous job. Today, if you were to meet me on the street and not look closely, you would not even know that I've had a cleft palate and cleft lip operation done.

A few days after I was born, a doctor told my mum, "Don't become too attached to this baby of yours. She might not survive for long. Even if she does, she might be unable to learn to speak and most probably have difficulty learning to walk. She might have poor muscle control and might have a low IQ. Don't pin too much hopes and expectations upon this baby!"

Thank God my parents did not take the doctor's words to heart. Mum and Dad brought me up with full acceptance. They never put any pressure upon me to excel but neither did they write me off as one who was "Unable To Learn". They taught me as much as I was willing and ready to learn, and eventually, I proved the doctor wrong. Not only did I learn to walk and talk, I soon progressed to become a lively, cheerful, outgoing little Bundle of ENERGY.

All throughout my school days, Mum and Dad allowed me to learn at my own pace. None of my teachers or schoolmates had a clue about the condition which I was in when I was a newborn. Had they known what the doctor had predicted about me : "Poor muscle control, low IQ, unable to learn", they might have conferred upon me the label "Slow Learner".

Children could be ruthlessly cruel. I've had my fair share of teasings : I was 'The girl with the crooked lips'. I was 'Miss Curly Wurly' because I could not grip my pencil well enough to write neatly. And so on.

I did not harbour any grudge against my classmates for all the cruel teasing, hurt as I was at times. I was a happy-go-lucky child, always smiling, always ready to take on a challenge, always curious to learn and was not one to say "Die!".

Year by year I persevered. It was tough being judged mediocre in others' eyes. They did not know...the fact that I could walk, speak clearly and was capable of understanding and learning...and was in a mainstream school, not a special school, was already a miraculous feat! In fact, being still alive and healthy even though it was way past my 'expiry date' as predicted by my doctors at the neonatal ward was in itself no mean feat!

Till today, I still believe that it is truly God's grace and mercy to have sustained me all these years! I am thankful to be alive. In others' eyes, I am just an average person. But, in my own esteem, I am an over-achiever who have beaten the odds and have proved the doctors wrong. I am thankful for my parents' decision to give birth to me and I am grateful to my Mum and Dad for the way they have loved, accepted and nurtured me all of my life so far.

I thank God for being with me all these years, for loving me, caring for me, helping me and for seeing me through each day. I know God is real. He is here in my heart. I know His presence is real even though I cannot see Him. I can sense His claim upon my life. It is God who has given me life. It is God who has sustained me all this while. I want to live for Him.