If they have had their way, I wouldn't have married you.

You walked me to my door. We said goodnight. You turned and left.

I entered the house and was surprised to see my mum waiting up for me.

"His sister called several times. She wants you to call her back by tonight."

I called. She told me to meet her the next morning at a park near my working place.

I went to the park, expecting to meet her alone.

She was not. Her boyfriend was with her.

He told me to sit.

"We have something to tell you!"

"WE?" I wondered aloud.

"What's this guy doing here? What has HE got to say to me?" my mind asked my heart.

"Something tells me we better be prepared for some nasty words coming..." my heart warned my mind.

She started weeping.
"Oh OH! Turning on the water works? Not a good sign! What's up? What's coming my way?"
Alarm bells starting ringing in my head.

"I've got to tell you this...but I didn't know how to...that's why he is here...to help me ...to lend me courage, so that I could tell you that..."

Ahem...PAUSE....CLEARING OF THROAT...LONGER PAUSE...

"Oh! Come on! Let's get this over with! Let it out! Let it all out! WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO SAY?" both my head and my heart were screaming at her.

"Well...I've to tell you that...
my mum doesn't like you
my dad doesn't approve of my brother's going out with you
my sisters are feeling antagonistic towards you...they feel jealous that my brother is giving you so much attention...you see, they're very close to my brother, especially my second sister...she's the closest to my brother...she's very possessive over my brother
my grandmother is so upset about you and my brother...she's turned to finding consolation in smoking...she's coughing a lot lately...her health is deteriorating
I think you'd better stop going out with my brother
stop pursuing this relationship
stop dating him
stop encouraging him to date you
stop going out with him
I want you to promise that you would stop seeing my brother

And another thing...
I want you to promise never to tell my brother about our meeting today

SILENCE

A thousand questions raced through my mind.

"How am I supposed to respond to something like that?
"Can I help it if you've already decided that you're not going to like me?"
"Why? They haven't even met me...how could they be so sure that they were not going to like me?"
"How well do you people know me?"
"What right do they have to say that they did not like me when they haven't even met me?"

"What have I done that they should reject me like that?"

Darts came flying at me! REJECTION REJECTION REJECTION REJECTION REJECTION REJECTION REJECTION REJECTION REJECTION REJECTION REJECTION REJECTION REJECTION REJECTION REJECTION REJECTION REJECTION REJECTION REJECTION

AHEM

"Ah...how shall I make this clear to you..."

"No, no...you don't need to make things any clearer...I know what you are saying.

But I think you've got to get something straight...I was not the one who initiated this. Your brother likes me. He called me up to ask me out. I accepted. Since then, we've been going out for quite some time now. We enjoy each other's company. We have become the best of friends...soul mates, almost. I know your brother wants us to be special friends. I like him a lot too. If your brother asks me out again, I am inclined to accept.

As to whether or not your brother would continue to date me, you should be asking him about it. I think you need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your brother to ask him what he wants and if he is willing to stop pursuing this relationship.

I cannot promise you anything.
I'm sorry you and your family feel this way about me.
I will not promise you anything.
All that you've just told me...you'll have to make your brother understand what you want.
I cannot help in any way."


That night, you called. I asked if you had had a good talk with your sister. You sounded perplexed. You sensed something was amissed.

"...a good talk with my sister? What about?"

"I think we need to talk."

We met. I told you about that morning's meeting at the park. You said you were sorry that I was subjected to something unpleasant like that. Then you tried to persuade me to consider things from your point of view.

"If you didn't like me...or if you had decided to end this relationship because you did not want it to carry on...I would be sad, very, very sad, but I would still respect your decision and accept it.

But if, despite the fact that you like me and are happy when we are together, you decide to walk away from this relationship and reject me simply because of what some other people want, or because of what some third party said, I think you're not being fair to me.

Am I not to be taken into consideration? Is my feeling not important? Are my wishes not significant in this whole matter? Do I not have a right to choose who I want to date and who I would like to have for my girlfriend?

My feelings for you...do you not care? All those wonderful, happy moments we have shared...do they not mean anything to you? Do you not treasure them? Can you just drop everything and walk away just like that? Do you not love me? Do you not care about me? Do you really want to sacrifice our relationship, our happiness? Are you not short-changing yourself and me?"

"Let me think...let me consider...let me have some time to consider this whole matter."

I finally decided that you are are right.

If ever I let go of this relationship, it should be because I've decided that you are not the one for me.

If ever I turned you away, it should be because I did not want to be with you. But that is not true. I love you. I treasure our relationship. I enjoy every moment I spend with you. I appreciate you! I admire and respect you, a lot.

I shall not be intimidated!

"Let's face this together.

Let's show them that we really are serious about each other...about this relationship.

Let's help them learn to accept this relationship...to accept you.

Let's help them realise that they are being possessive...and that they cannot go on being like that...they cannot cling on to me forever.

Let's help them realise that sooner or later they will have to let go of me. I will always be their son, their brother...but some day I'll also be someone's husband.

Give me time to help them realise that my being someone's boyfriend would never cause me to stop being their son and their brother. They've got to realise that.

Please give them time.

Give me time to help them understand.

Don't give up now...please?"

I shall not give up.

I will be courageous.

Yes, I will face this together with you.

I will embark on this journey with you.

It's been more than 20 years now. We're still in this together.

They've accepted me now.

They love me as their own. They look up to me and turn to me for company, for advice and counsel, for words of encouragement, and for words of comfort. They seek out my companionship. They seek my opinion and my views. They look to me for help in matters big and small. They relate to me as they would to you.

You managed to convince them that, no matter what, they will always have you for a son, and a brother. They 've also realised that they've gotten themselves a bonus too...now they have another "daughter", and another "sister" as well. They've nothing to lose!