Tomorrow...Going...You know?

Tomorrow...Going (back to school)....You Know?

All of a sudden, that MacDonald's TV commercial scene came flashing back to memory...that one in which a grinning little boy states gleefully, "...tomorrow, going (to MacDonald's), you know!"

Haha...wish I was as gleeful in going back to school as he was in going to MacDonald's!

In a way, I am glad to be going back to school...I'd feel "useful" again...hahaha!

Then again, I really dread going back, too, thinking of how I'm going to have a great mountainous backlog of work to clear! Furthermore, there'll be a hundred and one other current duties and projects to take on from the word, "Go!"... right from the very minute I step back into the working place!

What I still can't get over is this : on the day immediately after my recent surgery, one of my supervisors from HQ and two of my colleagues from school actually called me on my mobile phone to discuss work! When I told them that I was in hospital and had just had the surgicial procedure done, one said, "Oh, already?" , another asked most innocently, "Oh! Is it?", and the third, "Oh dear! Hope you're alright?". Then, without even stopping to catch a breath, each of the three merrily went ahead to engage me in their discussion about work and to ask me for information which they could jolly well get from other personnels in the school! I really didn't see why they needed to call me while I was in hospital!

Sigh!

The bane of information technology! The line between working hours and personal time has become so indistinct!

Oh, for more time for the family and for friends! Especially when I get back to work...

(I know I am not the only one crying out for this! A dear friend just told me this morning that she, too, feels this longing to have more time for herself and her loved ones...sigh...it looks like we are all in the same boat! This is especially hard on those of us who are in the 'sandwiched' generation - those of us who have to be care-givers to elderly folks of the generation before us as well as to take care of the next generation, our own offspring! )

Am I glad that in Christ, we have Somebody greater than you and I to look out for us, too! Thank you, Lord, that you are faithful, constant and true. Thank you for loving us. I'm really thankful that we have YOU to take care of us!

Gladly, I would remind myself that, in you, I'm sandwiched in another sense of the word... that is, I'm sandwiched between you! You are in front and behind, above and below.

You are out there in front of me, leading and guiding me all the way; as well as being right here, behind me, giving me help and support each and every single step of the way!

You are also above me, watching over me lovingly and constantly; as well as having your everlasting arms outstretched to catch me in case I fall. Resting in your hands, I have peace and confidence in all circumstances, knowing that with the control of my life being in your hands, I am safe and secure, always!

"The LORD reached down from above and took hold of me; he pulled me out of the deep waters." - Psalm 18:16 (TEV)

"The LORD looks down from heaven and sees all mankind.
From where he rules, he looks down on all who live on earth. He forms all their thoughts and knows everything they do...The LORD watches over those who obey him, those who trust in his constant love." - Psalm 33:13-15 (TEV)

"The eternal God is your refuge and underneath are the everlasting arms." - Deuteronomy 33:27

"Israel, the LORD who created you says, "Do not be afraid - I will save you. I have called you by name - you are mine. When you pass through deep waters, I will be with you; your troubles will not overwhelm you. When you pass through fire, you will not be burnt; the hard trials that come will not hurt you. For I am the LORD your God...you are precious to me and because I love you and give you honour. Do not be afraid - I am with you!" - Isaiah 43:1-5

"We know that in ALL things God works for good WITH THOSE WHO LOVE HIM, THOSE WHOM HE HAS CALLED ACCORDING TO HIS PURPOSE." - Romans 8:28

Lamentations 3:22-27
"The Lord's unfailing love and mercy still continue,
Fresh as the morning, as sure as the sunrise.
The LORD is all I have, and so I put my hope in him.

The LORD is good to everyone who trusts in him,
So it is best for us to wait in patience - to wait for him to save us -
And it is best to learn this patience in our youth.


Lamentations 3:29 "We should bow in submission, for there may still be hope."

Lamentations 3:31-34
"The LORD is merciful and will not reject us forever.

He may bring us sorrow, but hislove for us is sure and strong.

He takes no pleasure in causing us grief or pain.

The Lord knows when our spirits are crushed in prison."


Lamentations3:37-41
"The will of the Lord alone is always carried out.

Good and evil alike take place at his command.

Why should we ever complain when we are punished for our sin?

Let us examine our ways and turn back to the LORD.

Let us open our hearts to God in heaven and pray."


Lamentations 5:15,17,21

"Happiness has gone out of our lives; grief has taken the place of our dances.

We are sick at our very hearts and can hardly see through our tears.

Bring us back to you, LORD!
Bring us back!"


THANK YOU, LORD
Thank you, Lord,
for the trials that come my way,
In that way I can grow each day,
As I let you lead;
And thank you, Lord,
For the patience those trials bring,
In that process of growing
I can learn to care.

But it goes against the way I am,
To put my human nature down
And let the Spirit take control
of all I do;
Cause when those trials come,
my human nature shouts the thing to do,
And God's soft prompting
can be easily ignored.

But I thank you, Lord,
With each trial I feel inside,
That you're there to help, lead and guide
my way from wrong;
Cause you've promised, Lord,
That with every testing
that your way of escaping's
easier to bear.

Yes, I thank you, Lord,
for the victory that growing brings.
In surrender of everything
Life is so worthwhile;
And I thank you, Lord,
That when everything's put in place,
Out in front I can see your face
And it's there you belong.


SHEPHERD OF LOVE
Shepherd of Love
You knew I had lost my way
Shepherd of Love
You cared that I'd gone astray.

You sought and found me;
Placed around me
strong arms that carried me home.
No foe can harm me nor alarm me
Neve again will I roam!

Shepherd of Love,
Saviour and Lord and Guide
Shepherd of Love
Forever I'll stay by your side.


HE'LL GO WITH ME ALL THE WAY!
He'll go with me all the way.
He's my comfort and my stay.
From His tender love and mercy
I will never never stray.

O'er the mountains, rough and steep;
Thru the valleys, dark and deep.
Till I reach my home in glory
He'll go with me all the way!


HE
He can turn the tide, and calm the angry sea.
He alone decides who writes a symphony.
He lights every star and makes the darkness bright.
He keeps watch all thru the long and lonely night.
He still finds the time to hear a child's first prayer
Saint or sinner calls, he'll always find Him there.

Though it makes Him sad to see the way we live
He'll always say, "I forgive!"


REACH OUT TO JESUS
Is your burden heavy as you bear it all alone?
Does the road you travel harbour danger yet unknown?
Are you growing weary in the struggle of it all?
Jesus will help you when on His name you call.

He is always there, hearing every prayer, faithful and true.
Walking by our side, in His love we hide, all the day through.
When you get discouraged, just remember what to do
Reach out to Jesus
He's reaching out to you!

Is the life you're living filled with with sorrow and despair?
Does the future press you with its worry and its care?
Are you tired and friendless?
Have you almost lost your way?
Jesus will help you,
just come to Him today!


COME TO THE WATER
You said you'd come and share all my sorrows
You said you'd be there for all my tomorrows
I came so close to sending you away,
But just like you promised you came there to stay,
I just had to pray.

And Jesus said, "Come to the Water, stand by My side.
I know you are thirsty, you won't be denied.
I felt every tear drop
when in darkness you cried;
And I'm here to remind you...'tis for those tears I died!"

Your goodness so great, I can't understand.
And dear Lord, I know now, that all this was planned.
I know you're here now, and always will be.
Your love loosened my chains, and in you, I'm free!
But Jesus, why me?

And Jesus said,
"Come to the Water,
Stand by my side.
I know you are thirsty,
You won't be denied.
I felt every tear drop when in darkness you cried!
And I strove to remind you
'tis for those tears I died!"

Jesus, I give you my heart and my soul
I know that without God, I'll never be whole!
Saviour, you open all the right doors!
I thank you, and praise you,
from earth's humble shores;
Take me, I'm yours!

And Jesus said,
"Come to the Water, Stand by My side.
I know you are thirsty, you won't be denied.
I saw every tear drop when in darkness you cried!
I'm here to remind you 'tis for those tears that I died!"


A NEW MIND
To think a new way on a new day
in a new world,
so free

Will take a new start
and a new heart
and a new mind
for me, for me!

And tho' I've tried before to unlock the door.
Guess I never had the right key
But if it's worth my while
Then I think that I'll
try on this new mind
and SEE!

I'll think a new way,
on this new day
In this new world
so free

He'll give a new start
with a new heart
and a new mind to me

Horizons now expand
I can understand
There it is, as plain as can be,
So if His word is true...
there's just one thing to do :
Put on a new mind,
leave the old behind
Try a new mind...and see!


I LOOKED FOR LOVE
I looked for love in a red rose so small.
I looked for love in a green tree so tall.
But the red rose had its thorns
and the green tree was a cross
and my search for love
was a total loss

I looked for love in a friendly face so true.
I looked for love in a creed I once knew.
Well my friend just called me "Friend"
And he said, "I'm searching, too."
And the creed only told me what I couldn't do.

Then one day I heard the story
of Love like I'd never known,
How God gave His Son to save me
And wanted me for His own,
His own, His very own.

And now I know what it means to belong
Not lost in a crowd,
swept along by the throng
But to Him who gave His life
Ev'ry longing to fulfill

And I know that He loves me
And He always will

And He wants me to love Him
And He waits for me

AND HE WANTS ME TO LOVE HIM!
He wants my love, too!


JUST A CLOSER WALK WITH ME
I am weak but Thou art strong
Jesus, keep me from all wrong
I'll be satisfied as long, as I walk,dear Lord, close to Thee.

Just a closer walk with Thee
Grant it, Jesus, t'is my plea.
Daily walking close to Thee
Let it be
Dear Lord
Let it be

Thru this world of toil and snares
If I falter, Lord,
who cares?
Who with me my burden shares?
None but Thee, dear Lord,
none but Thee!

TAKE MY LIFE
Take my life and let it be, consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days, let them flow in ceaseless praise
Take my hands and let them move at the impulse of Thy love
Take my feet and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee
Take my voice and let me sing, always only for my King
Take my lips and let them be, filled with messages from Thee
Take my silver and my gold, not a mite would I withhold
Take my intellect and use, every power as Thou shalt choose

Take my will and make it Thine,
it shall be no longer mine.

Take my heart, it is Thine own,
it shall be Thy royal throne.

Take my love, my Lord, I pour
at Thy feet its treasure-store
Take myself and I will be, ever only, all for Thee!


WE GIVE THEE BUT THINE OWN!

"Never forget that the LORD is God.
He made us, and we belong to him;
we are his people, we are his flock." -Psalm 100:3 (TEV)

"...everything is a gift from you, and we have only given back what is yours already...it all came from you and all belongs to you...keep such devotion for ever strong in your people's hearts and keep them always faithful to you. ..Give...a wholehearted desire to obey...you..." (1 Chronicles 29:14,16,18,19 TEV)


Only by your grace can we stand before you. Thank you that your grace is always sufficient for us...in any and all circumstances!


In conclusion, "fill your minds with those things that are good and that deserve praise : things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and honorable. Put into practice what you learnt and received from me, both from my words and actions. And the God who gives us peace will be with you...May the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all." - Paul's letter, inspired by the Holy Spirit, to the Philippians 4:8,9,23 (TEV)

Amazing grace!

I've Got Mail!

I was elated to receive an email from a loved one today.

The last time which I was so elated in receiving news from her was when she was away in Beijing and Hong Kong.

Of course, there was that other time when she was away. She was not at home but did not choose to make contact till quite a few days later...then, I was on tenterhooks! I remember the mixed feelings I had had to deal with then. On the one hand, I longed to receive news from her but on the other, I was also fearful - morbidly imagining the worst - that I should receive 'bad' news.

Today, I read the email she wrote and was again having mixed feelings.

On the one hand, I was relieved to learn that she was well and happy. What was most comforting was to learn that she seemed to be doing a great job at taking care of herself.

Yet, on the other hand, I was sad to realise that she'd withdrawn, yet once again, into the "comfort" of her own "shell" again. She has chosen to be alone, again.

Lord, heal her. Heal her heart, heal her emotional wounds, heal her spirit, heal her soul. Soothe and calm her inner turmoil and struggles. Help her to be the person you planned for her to be when you created her.

You have promised us that you will be our all in all ...You are the great I Am.

I pray you will help us relate to you as such and to grow in our knowledge of you as the great I Am...the One who is able to meet us just as we are and to meet our needs accordingly.

Thank you. Standing before you, we need not pretend and can simply be who we are. Thank you for loving us unconditionally. Thank you for moulding us continually and causing us to grow to become a better person...that as far as you are concerned, we are all still "Work In Progress".

Thank you for not giving up on us. Thank you for promising that you will never leave us nor abandon us. Thank you that, even though we can never be good enough, you will never turn us away. In Christ, we can always come right into your holy presence, just as we are.

Thank you for your grace and mercy. Thank you.

Help us to view ourselves honestly and truthfully in your light, in your perspective, with your eyes. That is possible because you have given us the mind of Christ. Thank you.

Teach us to love ourselves in the very same way in which you cherish and love us.

Help us to love others as we love ourselves.

But above all, enable us to love you with all our hearts, mind, soul and strength.

Help us to be teachable, always.

"The Lord says, 'I will teach you the way you should go; I will instruct you and advise you. don't be stupid like a horse or a mule, which must be controlled with a bit and bridle to make it submit." - Psalm 32:8(TEV)


"My God loves me and will come to me..." - Psalm 59:10(TEV)

"Can a woman forget her own baby and not love the child she bore? Even if a mother should forget her child, I will never forget you...I can never forget you. I have written your name on the palms of my hands...then you will know that I am the LORD; no one who waits for my help will be disappointed." -Isaiah 49:15,16,23 (TEV)


"The mountains and hills may crumble but my love for you will never end; I will keep for ever my promise of peace," so says the LORD who loves you." - Isaiah 54:10 (TEV)

"Peace is what I leave with you; it is my own peace that I give you. I do not give it as the world does. " - John 14:27 (TEV)

"How many times have I wanted to put my arms around all your people, just as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you would not let me!" - Luke 13:34 (TEV)

"I took my people up in my arms but they did not acknowledge that I took care of them. I drew them to me with affection and love. I pick them up and held them to my cheek; I bent down to them and fed them. They refused to return to me...How can I abandon you?...My heart will not let me do it. My love for you is too strong....For I am God and not man. I, the holy One, am with you. " -Hosea 11:3-5,8,9 (TEV)

"I alone know the plans I have for you, plans to bring you prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring about the future you hope for. Then you will call to me. You will come and pray to me, and I will answer you. You will seek me, and you will find me because you will seek me with all your heart." - Jeremiah 29:11-13 (TEV)

"His love for us is strong and his faithfulness is eternal. Praise the LORD!" - Psalm 117:2,3 (TEV)

Pin Cushion

In the past, I've on one occasion joked about people who would willingly subject themselves to becoming pin cushions under the hands of acupuncturists.

Today, I am about to become the butt of my own joke!

I am seriously contemplating making a visit to the TCM/Acupuncturist clinic either at Woodlands or Toa Payoh where the Chung Hwa Medical Institution stands to beckon the weak and infirmed.

I seek to learn if the acupuncturist can help me manage pain effectively without my having to consume pain-killers which risk making me wheeze.

I wonder if acupuncture can even do something for my liver - to improve the state of its health - which no western medicine practitioner has thus far ever ventured or proposed to do for me.

With regards to my Hep B condition, I feel very much like a sitting duck...waiting to see if anything will really happen, but at the same time, wishing that nothing would! So, I sit and wait...and hope...and pray against the worst from happening.

I've had enough of "playing" this waiting game, keeping my finger crossed in the hope that nothing would ever flare up in my lifetime to rob me and my family of our sense of peace and well-being.

When the TCM physician at Toa Payoh (whom I had consulted last year for my wheezing and asthmatic condition) found out about my Hep B condition, he said this to me : "Your condition is much like that of a sleeping lion in a cave...as long as he is dormant and asleep, you are safe; but once he rouses himself to take a swipe at you, you will be swiftly overpowered. Why wait until he wakes before you do something about it?"

Has TCM something to offer me which western-research-based medicine could (so far) not?

I am going to find out.

I will swallow my pride, eat my words and face up to my secret unspoken fears... I will allow myself to become a pin-cushion for a day...for the sake of my liver...for my own sake, and that of my loved ones!

Now which do I fear more - the remote but ever possible reality of having "contaminated" needles accidentally poked into me, the discomfort and possibly, pain, from having needles sitting pretty on who-knows-which-part(s) of my body, or to eventually find out that having subjected myself to it, nothing much has changed for the better - which, indeed, should I worry about?

Mmm....there's only one way to find out!

Woodlands, here I come!

The Eagle and The Rock

An excerpt from The Daily Bread

12 May 2005

Read:Deuteronomy 32:1-14

The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms. —Deuteronomy 33:27

In the tender song of Moses found in today's Bible reading, God isportrayed as a dedicated mother eagle who can be trusted by her young, even in the scary experience of their learning to fly (Deuteronomy32:11-12).

A mother eagle builds a comfortable nest for her young, padding itwith feathers from her own breast. But the God-given instinct that builds that secure nest also forces the eaglets out of it before long. Eagles are made to fly, and the mother eagle will not fail to teach them. Only then will they become what they are meant to be.

So one day the mother eagle will disturb the twigs of the nest, makingit an uncomfortable place to stay. Then she will pick up a perplexed eaglet, soar into the sky, and drop it. The little bird will begin to free-fall. Where is Mama now? She is not far away. Quickly she will swoop under and catch the fledgling on one strong wing. She will repeat this exercise until each eaglet is capable of flying on its own.

Are you afraid of free-falling, unsure of where or how hard you will land? Remember, God will fly to your rescue and spread His everlasting arms beneath you. He will also teach you something new and wonderful through it. Falling into God's arms is nothing to be afraid of.
—Joanie Yoder

He will ever keep your soul,
What would harm,
He will control;
In the home and by the way
He will keep you day by day.
—Psalter


God's love does not keep us from trials but sees us through them.


I'd like to share this with you because I'd like to share the enjoyment I have from reading this poetic piece of writing for its rich imagery...solid desert rock that shields one from the scorching sun, devoted courage of the mother-eagle who looks out for her eaglets while training them to fly solo, etc.

I find that part about the stirring of the nest most intriguing...how a mother is to summon her courage to purposefully stirrs her nest and lovingly push her off-springs out of their comfort zone and out of the relative security of their nest into the unfamiliar and unknown - from the eaglet's perspective-, while all the while determined and knowing that she is ever ready to do her darnest best to catch them before they are dashed to the ground or against the jagged face of the cliffs.

It takes steely resolve to stem the tide of her fears and to muff the alarming cries and nagging murmurings of a mother's protective instincts before she can get on to do the necessary! Which mother would, without any inner struggles and turmoil, allow her off-spring to be subjected to the potential danger?

The action demands true grit and resolve, great courage, caution, watchfulness, deep sincere love, selfless devotion, true wisdom, far-sightedness and the genuine desire to protect and to provide lasting security - that which sees the off-spring through its lifetime even after her own demise.

For me, this imagery depicts our Heavenly Father's desire to grant us true freedom. It also paints a picture which tells me of His great love for me, His devotion and dedication towards watching over me,protecting and guarding me. It also says much about the disciplinarian side of the Father who wants to train us for our own good, and of how, if for one moment I lose sight of His wisdom and love, and start to doubt and challenge His motive for pushing me out of the secure and comfortable nest, He does not take offense but is constantly there, ever ready to catch me even as I fall.

In being a mother, I fall far short of God's standard and I need Him to provide me with the love, wisdom, discernment, courage, far-sightedness, devotion and determination (and many other, and much much more qualities) needed to do a good job at loving, caring for, safe-keeping, providing, protecting, guarding, teaching, training, guiding, leading, nurturing, disciplining, influencing and sharing.

On my own, I am weak and ineffective. Relying on my own abilities, I, who am weakest in my ability to multi-task, need God's help the most. My role as a mother requires me to rise to meet the challenges thrust at me by varied tasks and sub-tasks. It puts me smack in the vortex ofthe hurricane. All around me the duties and demands of life, whirlingat dizzying speed, threatens to knock me out of my senses and smash meinto minute, ineffectual fragmented bits.

Yet knowing that God is in there with me assures me of His everlasting unfailing protection and renews my hope which stands secure in the fact that He, in His infinite love, goodness and wisdom, knows exactly what He is doing and has a holy purpose for what He has permitted into my life, and those of my loved ones.

In Him I have access to enduring strength, unflinching courage and unconditional unending love. Indeed, my God is the Rock, my refuge.Having come under the protection of this rock, the sun-scorched land and its merciless elements cannot render me lifeless, withered, hardened and useless.

Many a times, I feel that my life as a teacher, a wife and a mother seems all too ordinary. I fear that upon my death-bed, I might look back to regret that I've lived a dry, uneventful and barren life; I fear having lived a wasted life.

This desert landscape of my life at times SEEMS barren and dry, and sometimes it becomes almost too difficult to take even that one more wearying step. It is during such moments that my eyes are lifted to gaze upon the rock which gives sweet respite from the scorching heat.

The Rock shields and it shades. It backs me up and holds me secure, if I will but in quiet confidence lean trustingly upon it, entrusting myself and the entire weight of my load to its unfailing support.

To those on the run, be it from their inner fears or from external threats of harm, it offers a hiding place to which every lost and confused wanderer can go to find solace and rest. Even when the unexpected desert storm, with its sudden flashfloods, lashes out at me from out of the blue and threatens to cut me off fromall that is familiar, tested and tried, I can climb to safety. Even then, the eternal Rock stands solid and secure, constant and inmoveable. Even then, as at all times, help is available to me. TheRock. The eternal Rock of Ages.

O how I love the Rock of Ages...cleft just for me! Let me hide myself inThee! Lift me up to stand upon this Rock - safe and secure - where Iwill proclaim the name of the LORD and praise the greatness of ourGod!

There! Once again, I've put into written words the very innermost thoughts and feelings which I have about my God!

It is not my intention to persuade or to convince, but to merely capture the voices from my heart and to document my inner thoughts.


Deuteronomy 32:1-14
My desire and attempt to appropriate it ….

Lord, let your teaching fall like rain and descend like dew, like showers on new grass, like abundant rain on tender plants.

I will proclaim the name of the LORD. Oh, praise the greatness of our God!

He is the Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he. In a desert land he found me, in a barren and howling waste. He shielded me and cared for me; he guarded me as the apple of his eye, like an eagle that stirs up its nest and hovers over its young, that spreads its wings to catch them and carries them on its pinions.

The LORD alone led me.

Why I am still here

Quote of the Day : Bring joy WHEREVER you go, not WHENEVER you go.

Yes, Lord, bless all whom you bring into contact with me today! Make me a channel of your love and joy, an instrument of peace and a conduit of your life-giving power!

He must become greater; I must become less. -John 3:30


Thank you, Lord, for reminding me of the fact that I am "a letter from Christ...written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts...Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God." (2Corinthians 3:2-5)

Help me to always be mindful that I am being "known and read by everybody"...and so, enable me to bear good testimony of the truth, of who you are and of all that you want to reveal about yourself to the people whom you bring into contact with me.


Thank you for your grace! Your amazing grace which loves, forgives and accepts even me. Thank you for your unconditional love!

My Tribute

All that I am, and ever hope to be...I owe it all to Thee!

Lord, Jehovah Tsidkenu, Jehovah our Righteousness,

the lyricist of this song ("My Tribute") has taken the very words right out of my mouth when he wrote :

"How can I say thanks for the things you have done for me?
Things so undeserved yet you give to prove your love to me.
The voices of a million angels could not express my gratitude;

All that I am, and ever hope to be
I owe it all to Thee.

To God be the glory
For the things He has done
- With His blood He has saved me
With His power He has raised me -
To God be the glory for the things He has done.

Just let me live my life, let it be pleasing, Lord, to Thee.


The words of the following songs come to my mind, too.
Once again, I am reminded of why I can be confident of my future in God's wise and loving hands.

I Know Who Holds The Future

I do not know what lies ahead, the way I cannot see;
Yet one stands near to be my guide, He'll show the way to me.

I know who holds the future
And He'll guide me with His hand
With God, things don't just happen,
Everything by Him is planned
So as I face tomorrow
With its problems large and small
I'll trust the God of miracles,
I'll give to Him my all.

I do not know how many days of life are mine to spend
But one who knows and cares for me will keep me to the end.


I do not know the course ahead, what joys and griefs are there
But one is near who fully knows, I'll trust His loving care.


I Don't Know About Tomorrow

I don't know about tomorrow, it may bring me poverty
But the one who feeds the sparrows is the one who stands by me
And the path that be my portion may be through the flame or flood
But His presence goes before me and I'm covered with His blood

Many things about tomorrow, I don't seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow, and I know who holds my hand.



The Lord brings to my mind the memory of a very precious moment in time :

Way back in 1976, one morning at around 5.30am, I was very disturbed about my poor grades in school and was most troubled about my future. I felt my future was bleak and that I was unable to face yet another day. While I was reading the bible and praying, I sensed God giving me a very special and personal word of encouragement to fully entrust my life and my future to Him.

I remember sensing this call from Him to wholly surrender myself into His loving care and to place my confidence in Him. I felt led to read from the book of Jeremiah. I flipped to Jeremiah, half afraid that I would once again find it hard to understand what I was reading (at that time I found it difficult to read and understand the Old Testament books of the Bible). To my surprise, I found myself drawn to a certain portion in Jeremiah 29. When I came to verses 11, 12, 13, they seemed to leap from the page to grab my full attention.

Jeremiah 29:11-13
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

While reading that portion of scripture that morning, the Holy Spirit helped me experience such a wondrous sense of intimacy and closeness with God.

I felt as if God was speaking personally to me, answering my prayer almost instantaneously. It had only been just minutes earlier that I had talked to Him about my fear for my "bleak" future, telling Him how I felt afraid to face the days ahead. Then, almost as if God was engaging me in conversation there and then, He seemed to say to me in reply using the words found in the Jeremiah 29:11-13 text, that He has had everything planned and that I did not need to fear the future.

I knew it was God speaking to my heart, promising me that in the same way which He has brought me into existence, and has sustained my life so far, He will continue to help, lead and guide me on my journey in this life.

He seemed to be saying to me, "My child, I made you. I have been helping you and sustaining you all through life so far. I am here with you. I will never leave you, nor abandon you. You can count on me. Only trust in me... and follow me. Let me guide you in the path ahead."

I sensed his awesome presence and I knew He was assuring me of His abiding presence in all the days of my life, and of His ever faithful and watchful care over me. I knew then that my faith was built upon a solid and secure Rock...the mighty Rock of Ages... and that as long as I am tied to this Rock, I will be safe. That morning, I prayed, "Lord, hold on to me and keep me close to you until the very end. I am weak but you are strong. I need you, moment by moment, all the days of my life." And I yielded my future into the hands of my God, Jehovah Rohi.

God has faithfully seen me through many days, weeks, months and years since that morning. He has never failed me. His loving kindness endures forever. He is faithful, constant, true. I know He is still at work in my life, moulding me, shaping me, smoothening out the rough edges, helping me to become the person He had planned for me to be when He created me. I know He will see me through all the days ahead.

I know I can rest in God and I am content to let Him hold absolute sway over me and over all of my life on this side of eternity, and through the rest of eternity, too. O how good it is to be reconciled to God, to know His surpassing and enduring peace. Indeed, 'tis so sweet to trust in Jesus.

He'll go with me all the way
He's my comfort and my stay
From His tender love and mercy
I will never, never stray

O'er the mountains rough and steep
Through the valleys dark and deep
Till I reach my home in glory
He'll go with me all the way!


Jehovah Rophe, thank you for having walked with me through the past few days. Thank you for the two verses which you brought to my mind to calm me (I was beginning to get the jitters when they were just about to put me to sleep) on the surgery table.

"I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the LORD sustains me." (Psalm 3:5)

"I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety." (Psalm 4:8)

Thank you for being with me right through that morning, just as you have always been. I knew I was not alone, even though I had gone to the hospital's Admission Ward by myself. I knew you would be there to see me through.

Thank you for yet another opportunity to experience you and your mighty awesome presence. If anyone else had been there with me, perhaps my attention and sense of dependency would have been shifted and not focussed solely on you, and the wondrously calming sense of your quiet abiding presence would not have been so keenly felt by me. Thank you, Lord Jehovah Shalom.

Thank you. Thine be the glory!

Haiku?

Someone, noticing the verses I had put up on the wall of my office, read them silently and promptly announced loudly, “Those poems ….urgh!….Those are what I would call “psuedo-haiku”! Where did you download them from?”

Those?! (aiyoh...so malu!) I did not download them.

I...er...I... (gulp!...This is really embarrassing!) I wrote them.

It was never my intention to pass them off as Haiku.

Is it haiku? Is it not?
I don’t know…and it does not matter.

While writing a few of them, I adopted the 5-7-5 syllables rule, but that was all there was to it.

I did not consciously set out to write haiku….I was not writing in praise of the four seasons, nor was I trying to capture the beauty of nature. I am not into Zen, and I have not had that many “haiku moments” in my life. I don’t exactly know how to appreciate renga. I am least inclined (and even less qualified) to try to pass my poems off as Haiku.

What I’ve written…they are merely words that have helped me capture and store precious thoughts on paper. I wanted to “see” my thoughts in black-and-white. In some instances, I chose to write in keeping with the 5-7-5 syllables rule. In others, my thoughts just flowed freely. That’s all. It’s as simple and straightforward as that. Nothing pretentious, nothing fancy. In fact, I dare not even call them "poems".


Permit me to share my thoughts with you.

If you care to know, read on…



My thoughts about Grandpa’s Alsatian -

Beside his gravestone,
alone it sits, awaiting.
Grandpa’s faithful friend.





My thoughts about the moment when my grandparents first met each other on their wedding day (theirs was a marriage arranged by their parents, they had never seen each other prior to their wedding day) –


The matchmaker leaves
Silently he lifts her veil
and gives her his heart






When my daughter was born –


Wide-eyed she arrives.
It has been thirty-eight weeks
My first-born, a girl.



When my husband first cuddled my daughter in his arms (in the delivery suite at Mt Alvernia Hospital) –


Gently he lifts her
Heart fluttering, hands trembling
Father and child meets



When Armstrong first landed on the moon on July 20, 1969….all those stories I’ve heard…those magical stories about the moon and the fairy tales about Chang ‘e…they lost their magical qualities and ceased to capture my imagination –



July 20, 1969

The moon is but a moon now
Armstrong has broken the spell






What it must have been like when my paternal grandfather was taken away by Japanese soldiers during the Japanese Occupation of Singapore in World War II –


Syonan-To, 1942

They will not allow him to say goodbye
Their bayonet did not permit
him that one last look
at her
or at the little ones

Alone he must go with them
Thankful that only he
was picked to go


The wails from the wife and the children
might raise the shiny blades



HUSH
You are courting Death
Quickly
I must lead Death away


He hurries off
not daring to look back


Broken-hearted
They watched him go
Never to return
Never to be with them again


What’s happened to him?
Did he suffer much at the hands of his foes?
How did he die?
Till today no one really knows